We hate boundaries. We need boundaries. I’m a recovering people pleaser. I struggle with boundaries. It is very hard for me to say “no” to people. I feel guilty saying “no” and I feel like I need to solve all the world’s problems. Do you struggle with this? Do you try and always say “yes” to your work, your boss, your pastor, your family? We cannot do it all. Healthy boundaries are a must. Not everyone should get a voice at all times into your life and your decisions. Do not allow those most important to you to be out-voiced by others. Also, unhealthy people should not be making decisions for you.…
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Don’t Live Alone
This post is not directly connected to my previous post Feeling Alone? Decrease Your Circles. I’m not suggesting you don’t live alone because you might be lonely, or as an option for you. I think, in general, we are not met to live alone. Think about it. When in history has one lived alone? You literally couldn’t for survival purposes. I think there is more to it than that though. We are wired for community. We are met to live in community. Living alone, among other things, leads us to getting our way in everything. I want my way just like everyone else, but this is not very helpful for…
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Feeling Alone? Decrease Your Circles
Are you lonely? Surrounded by people, but you still feel alone? I’ve found this to be an epidemic in our culture. We hunger for community but can’t seem to find it. What is the solution? I’m not totally sure, but I think I know one significant contributor to the problem. We have too many circles. We go to work in one part of town. Then we live in another part of town. Then we play, church, workout, etc in other parts of town. In each of these you and I create circles of relationships. The problem is that none of these circles overlap. People know us in only one context, which leaves us…
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Increase Productivity with a Weekly Review
With all the things you have going on, it is probably hard to keep everything straight. Something I’ve been doing for over a decade is a Weekly Review. I spend one to two hours a week looking through the previous week, my goals and the following week. Then I make a game plan for the upcoming week. Getting Things Done gives a whole system to the Weekly Review. However, it is possible to keep it simple too. Basically, you need your calendar, to-do list and goals. Glance over everything and decide what is going to happen this next week. Of course, leave margin for interruptions. Do you already do a…
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Prepare For Your Quarterly Offsite
It is mid June. Time to take a final look at your goals from the second quarter and start preparing for your Quarterly Offsite. Let the fun begin! Why Quarterly Offsite I do a personal retreat every quarter to help me rest, rejuvenate, set goals and prepare for the next 90 days. For me, annual goals are a bit too much. So many things happen in the course of a year to change them. So quarterly goals work better for me. The Basics Typically I set aside two days for my Offsite. Usually it includes the following: Getting away from home. Turning off interruptions, including devices, email, texting, etc. Spending the…
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Raising Entrepreneurial Kids
One of our goals as a family is to help our children identify one passion they have and turn it into a business. Our hope is for them to have a way to provide for themselves before they go to college. To start off, we are looking at what they cannot stop doing. For example, one of our kids loves to cook. No one is allowed to cook in her presence without her help. She is willing to try any type of food. Since she was two, she has enjoyed watching cooking shows. Sounds like a passion! The key is looking for that one thing they cannot stop doing. Later they may choose…
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Stop The Comparison Game
Just because someone lives their life differently than you, does not mean they think you are doing it wrong. Stop the comparison game. Everyone is doing the best they can. Just because someone lives their life, parents their kids, spends their money, schools their children, leads their career…and the list goes on…just because they do these things differently than you, it does not mean you are doing it wrong. It is possible to have strong, differing opinions and still be on the same side. Let’s all be on the side of living good lives, raising great kids, having amazing marriages…no matter what path we take to get there. You can…
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My Favorite Thing About Jesus
There are some great things to love about Jesus. He told awesome stories. He helped people. He inspires people to live better lives. He did miracles. He pushed back against an oppressive religious system. But, for me, there is one thing I love about Jesus above all else. One thing stands out above all the rest. One thing is consistent through multiple stories of Scripture. My favorite thing about Jesus is how sinners enjoyed being in his presence. It is so fascinating to me. People who lived lives very different from Jesus, were not put off by his perfection. They actually wanted to be around him. In fact, they loved…
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Be Careful Introverts and Extroverts
Recently I wrote about Introverts and Extroverts. A word of caution. Introverts, sometimes you think you do not need people. You live like a hermit and hide away. This is not healthy…for you, for others or for society. We need you. Extroverts, sometimes you develop too many shallow relationships. You know a lot of people but no one really knows you and you do not really know anyone. This is not healthy…for you, for others or for society. Go deep in less relationships. Do you have any tips for introverts and extroverts? I’d love to hear your advice.